Career

What Career Coaches Know that Someone May Have Forgotten to Tell You

by dianecraver on March 22, 2011

Career Coaches and Simon Says … really?

Have you ever been in a situation where someone thought you knew, but you didn’t? Maybe there was blame, assumptions, or criticism. And then you found out, and you said, “Well, why didn’t someone tell me”?

I like Maya Angelou’s quote: “When you know better, you do better.” That’s why I wrote this article, because as a career coach I find many times, people just don’t know what they don’t know.

career coach says...

I’m going to play a game that resembles the child’s game we used to play, “Simon Says.” It goes like this: Simon is the leader. When he says, “Simon Says,” you have to do what he says, such as “raise your hand.” If he says “raise your hand” without saying “Simon Says” and you raise your hand, you’re out.

It sucks to be left out. I don’t want you to be left out of a career path you love, so keep reading about how you can stay in the game instead of being booted out by that punk, Simon.

Career Coach Says: Do the work you’re supposed to do

If you’re feeling disillusioned about your career, you’re not doing the work you’re supposed to do. Are you an artist but not creating? Are you a leader but not leading? Are you a problem solver but not solving problems?

I once heard someone say, “You’re not supposed to enjoy your work. That’s why they call it work.” To which I replied (not in a snarky way at all), “So, no one in the whole world enjoys their work?” To which this person replied, “Well, no, I mean some people do, just not most people.”

“So what makes the people who love their work so special? How come they get to do what they love, but not you”? Silence!

This way of thinking is a big – fat – lie. There are examples all around you of people doing the work they’re supposed to do. These folks clearly understand their talents and how to leverage them.

Maybe you need a new career, maybe you just need to set some career goals that bring out your best. I don’t know your situation, but clearly if you’re feeling disillusioned at work, your situation won’t get better on its own.

Truth time: Figuring out what you’re supposed to do requires some work … and the effort is worth it.

Career Coach says: Create a campaign for your next role

Are you the type of person who gets restless in your career? Perhaps you’ve been in your role for a couple of years, and now you’re bored. Been there; done that – so I hired a career coach to help me make better career choices.

Your boss likes your work & she wants you to stay exactly where you are. “Can’t you just be happy where you are? You have more to learn,” she says. Dilemma or opportunity?

What if you were like this guy, Mike. He’s creating a “campaign” to demonstrate why it would be in everyone’s best interest to place him in a role where he can create even more value for himself & the organization. Campaigns are filled with strategies, plans & execution towards a desired outcome. Campaigns are not created in a day. They take time.

And sometimes it helps to have a little fun with your campaign. Mike messes with his boss every now & then by wearing a suit to work. And you know what that means, suit at work = interviewing or preaching.

Career Coach says: Never, ever, ever say, “Just tell me what to do, and I’ll do it.”

Nothing frustrates leaders more than people just sitting back and waiting to be told what to do. Whether it’s your performance review, project planning, brainstorming session, interview, networking, working with a career coach, customer meeting or whatever … show up fully present, sharing what you want, and inviting others to do the same.

When everyone comes to the “party” as a peer, with the intention that everyone can get what they want, you best believe something special is going to happen. You won’t be playing games to see who’s the winner or who’s the loser. Everyone wins because everyone is showing up as a leader, bringing their unique gifts and contributions to the situation or relationship.

Some results you can expect are: stronger performance, innovation, high-quality work & relationships, clear communication & understanding, better service … essentially happier people who create superior experiences for the people they serve & care about.

Career Coach says: You already have what you need

Is this you? You’ve gotten a good education, you’re a leader, someone people naturally go to; you produce high-quality work and get excellent feedback from people you support … and yet you can’t quite make the leap to the career you’re longing for.

So, you take more classes, get more certifications, do more research, abandon your dreams, or ride other people’s coattails hoping they’ll pull you along.

All the while, there’s this voice whispering inside you, “You are enough. You have everything you need.” But you ignore that little voice – wondering why you aren’t getting what you want.

Please read this sentence carefully. Stop. Breathe. You have EVERYTHING you need.

As a career coach, I see this a lot. I tell my clients: The only thing standing in your way is you. What a relief! If you’re in your way, and you’re in control of yourself, you can get out of your way. How cool is that!

“How do you do that,” you ask? You acknowledge the appreciation that’s coming your way. You recognize your gifts. You stand tall and exclaim to the world, “I have something wonderful to offer you, and I am ready to share it.” Oh man, look out, here you come!

Career Coach says: Get out or else

I see lots of people who have stayed in their jobs too long, and they’re not in a good place when they come to see their career coach. They’re feeling complacent, overwhelmed, apathetic, and really hate Monday mornings.

Wishing and praying and thinking and hoping - good start but take it a step further

I’m reminded of the Burt Bacharach song “Wishing and Praying,” sung by Dionne Warwick. All that wishing and hoping and thinking and praying is getting you really close, but you’re not there quite yet.

According to this article in Health magazine, “For mental health, bad job worse than no job,” researchers found that unemployed people actually rated higher in mental health than people in jobs of high stress (bad boss, micromanaged, underpaid, insecure about employment). Pretty incredible, huh?

You don’t have to quit your job right now. Actually I advise against it unless you’re doing damage to yourself. Just take one step, and then another, and then another. Before you know it you’ll be out the door and on your way to something you want … and I’ll bet much wiser this time around.

And finally, Career Coach says: Your career is not a game where someone tells you what to do and you do it, so you win.

You need to be Simon in your career, directing yourself in a way that sets you on a successful, fulfilling career path. Take a stand, create a vision, invite people in to support and encourage you, and take action only that’s right for you. Take all the time you need; just don’t let someone else decide your career path.

So, now you know. And you’ll do better, I’m sure of it.

P.S. If you need help, check out our online career coaching program, IAM Career SMART!™

Now it’s time for you to put on the role of “Career Coach.” What do you want us to know?

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How to get stress relief when you’re feeling complacent

by KarenTax on March 15, 2011

Stress relief is tough when you are complacent, apathetic or burning out

You’ve got your head down, you’re working hard, you’re getting your job done. Sure, your job is stressful. But you’ve learned to deal. You know how to ‘man up’ as the saying goes …

Feeling Frazzled Sneaks Up On You!

Except that you’re not handling the stress like you used to. You’ve noticed that you’re not sleeping well. Every day it’s caffeine in the morning and a glass of wine in the evening. The energy you once had is waning. It’s hard to get excited about much of anything.

I’ve seen this pattern with clients over and over again: a gradual wearing down over time that leaves them complacent, apathetic or burning out, without the energy to do something about the stress relief they need.

Signs of complacency

I’m sure you’ve heard something like the following:

“That’s just who I am”
“It is what it is”
“The key is to accept a person as they are”

Statements like this are an attempt to ‘go with the flow’ and ‘not make waves’. Except that too often people end up tolerating situations that need to change, including internal shifts within themselves that could make all the difference in creating stress relief.

Rather than ‘going with the flow’, the statements above are a sign of becoming complacent, of disengaging, of losing hope and ultimately of beginning to not care – about yourself and others. You’ve got to check-out the Urban Dictionary’s definition of “it is what it is” to see what I’m talking about – it’s a hoot!

Stress relief starts inside of YOU

The first step in creating stress relief is to get honest with yourself about situations that suck. Really. One of my clients likes to say, “if it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck … it is a duck.” A sucky duck sucks. Period.

The next step is easy but only if you practice: ask yourself, what would you really, really like instead of what’s happening? It’s healthy to want more for ourselves, like friends who are emotionally responsible, leaders who challenge and inspire the best in others, and so forth … these are healthy wants.

Next, ask for what you want without pushing, forcing or controlling. Make a specific request, share your perspective, ask for support, take action where it’s easy to move forward.

stress relief can come from medication and supplements

Can Hand Fulls of Pills Provide Stress Relief?

You could medicate yourself and take hand fulls of supplements as a way of getting stress relief. But these approaches don’t handle the original source of stress: feeling hopeless and helpless.

Stress relief happens when you turn the tide, from feeling hopeless and helpless, to feeling hopeful

Experiencing what you want, even in tiny baby steps, can be the beginning of the stress relief you need to feel much, much better about your situation.

Stress relief requires a belief that Life is for you, not against you

One of the biggest obstacles to stress relief, and a source of complacency, is a belief that Life is hard, struggle is inevitable, or that people in general are against you.

I know that struggle is a reality that many people experience.

I also know that if you believe life is hard, it is.

Simply believing that Life is for you, not against you, can be an antidote to struggle. I’m not talking about positive thinking here. I’m talking about useful thinking.

Stress relief happens when you clear your doubts

When you ask for what you want, and get chaos instead, don’t assume that you can’t get what you want! Instead, know that some part of you, inside of YOU, believes that you can’t have what you want. Anchor yourself in knowing Life is for you, deal with the doubt, and what you want will arrive.

Stress relief comes when you deal with your doubt

When you start rolling with this simple process of asking for what you want, clearing your internal doubts, and then letting your wants arrive, your stress levels will plummet. If they don’t, you may need help boosting your energy levels – in whatever way you can!

As stress levels decrease, the energy you have to ask for what you want and clear your doubts will increase.

Gradually, your experience of apathy, complacency and burn out will decline. Your tendency to push, control or manipulate to get what you want will decline. And people will be more inclined to support you in getting what you want!

Stress relief happens when you experience cycles of asking for and allowing what you want

Become a Stress Free Dynamo!

As your energy increases, you have more resources again, to ask for what you want and to clear the doubts that will arise … and so the cycle continues building until you become a stress free, consciously creating, positively powerful dynamo!

I know, easier said than done! But I want you to get a sense of what’s possible here: stress relief and the healing of doubts that are keeping you from what you want.

Not trivial, materialistic wants, but those wants that support you in living your best life. Wants that are definitely worth striving toward.

What do you want that would support you in being at your best? And give you some stress relief in the process? Your comments are welcome below!

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Career Stress: Should I Take the Job or Wait?

by dianecraver on January 28, 2011

You don't have to be stressed and confused!

Oh, the stress of making the right decision!

Career choices are common causes for high stress! Imagine this: You get a job offer, but it pays less than what you want. Do you take the job or wait for something better? There are pros and cons to each situation, but how do you decide when you don’t know what to do?

Here’s are 2 similar stories with 2 very different outcomes. They are true stories from working with my clients as a career coach (edited for confidentiality).

Andrew’s dilemma…

Andrew was laid off 9 months ago from his job in graphics design at the State. He has been searching for full-time work, but he’s having a hard time finding something that pays close to what he was making. Andrew is a hard worker and a talented designer; being out of work has been very stressful for him.

Eventually Andrew gets an interview with Smart Company. The interview goes well, the environment appears to be a good fit, and he likes the short commute. Everything about this job looks wonderful! Then Andrew gets the job offer … only the pay is lower than what he wants. On one hand, Andrew is excited about getting back to work & being creative. On the other hand, he’s feeling the stress of having to slice & dice his budget. After thoughtful consideration and planning, Andrew takes the job.

Stress lifting … and look what happens

After a few weeks, Andrew’s can feel his stress level decreasing. He feels better about himself because he’s making a contribution and feels a sense of purpose. His energy is higher & he’s finding creative inspiration he thought he lost. It isn’t long before he is making an significant impact. After 3 months on the job, the GM is so impressed with Andrew’s motivation and creative ideas, he offers him a promotion with a bonus. Now he’s making more money than he did in the job he lost. Life is good! Stress? Gone!

Contrast Andrew with Brandy…

Brandy has been out of work for 10 months, and she’s feeling the stress big time! As a technical project manager, she thought she would have an easy time finding a job, so she played while she was on severance. The last month of severance she kicks her job search into high gear only to find there aren’t that many jobs and the jobs she’s applying for aren’t paying what she wants. Brandy decides she’ll just wait it out, only while she’s waiting, and she’s about to lose her house. She’s depressed and angry – her confidence is at an all time low.

Some of you may be experiencing this dilemma right now, or you may encounter it in the future. It’s a stressful thing to have to deal with, but you can easily work through the situation and make a wise decision without all that drama. Use the tips below to help you think through your situation:

5 Tips to Help You Lower Your Stress & Make Better Decisions About Whether to Take the Job or Wait

One of the biggest factors for success is knowing yourself and having the courage to be yourself. Look for situations where you have high potential for being your best. Money is a factor, but it’s not the only one.
Today’s world is less stable & secure. We’re going to have to be more agile and flexible than ever because jobs don’t come with a lifetime guarantee like many used to. Whether or not you take the job, do your homework. What is the potential for advancement? Are your personal values, mission & goals aligned with the company’s – if they are your chances for success are much higher. What is the fiscal health of the company/organization? It pays to do your research. Make sure you are driving YOUR strategy for getting what you want.
Talk the situation through with someone … be curious and open. You may not have considered all the options available to you. Getting help means you are strong, not weak. You’ll also find that simply talking through your options will decrease your stress & help you think more creatively.
Every situation carries an element of risk to it. It’s important to weigh your options, but get some help if you have “decision constipation.” There are numerous tools available to help with your decision. Mind Tools has some great resources to help you make better decisions. Click here for a link to their decision-making tools section.
Sometimes people are in a situation where they have to take a job they don’t really want – completely understandable these days. Just remember, there is a big difference between taking a job that pays the bills temporarily and denying your talents.

BONUS TIP: Join the IAM Learning Community as a Free Member! Once you receive your user id & password, you can download the IAM Essence Map Tool. This tool helps you focus your attention on the best of who you really are and not the drama you’re in. Use the map to help you easily work through the stress and get clear about what’s right for you.

Please share your tips for reducing career stress! Are you, or have you been, in a situation where you’ve experienced this dilemma? What are some things you’ve done to help you make a good decision?

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“Punch Me in the Head so I Can Feel Something”

by dianecraver on December 8, 2010

I ran across an old Dilbert cartoon today. Dilbert is talking to his manager about how his job is an endless series of mind-numbing tasks. Dilbert looks stressed out and all his manager can say is “I’m kind of busy.” Dilbert replies to his manager, “Punch me in the head so I can feel something.”

How many times have you felt this way about your work? Apathetic, unmotivated, exhausted, complacent …

Maybe it’s time to start something new – something that would inspire you to get a life you love. Perhaps it’s changing jobs or finding position within your current company that’s a better fit. Maybe it’s starting a business or participating in an outside activity. Perhaps you need to take a vacation or take better care of yourself. Maybe you need career help from your manager, a coach, or trusted friend.

If you’re having trouble figuring out how to get a life or career you love, here are some tips:

Try slowing down a little and get out of your head into your heart. I’ve heard people say you can’t rely on your emotions, but I think they’ve forgotten one word – only. You can rely on your emotions to tell you what is important to you, what is meaningful, what boundaries you need to set and so on. Emotions are essential in thinking critically about your career goals and development.
Think about the past week or so and identify things that energize you. Where did you feel a spark? There’s a clue somewhere in there for you.
What really makes you angry, disengaged, sad or hurt? There are clues here to help you know what de-motivates you. This is essential information.
Create a “heart chart.” Take a week or so and write down things that connect with your heart. Some clues: books or articles; something you watched on the news, a movie or television show; people who inspire or motivate you; an event – even something as simple as enjoying a warm, sunny day.
What common themes are emerging?
What choices are you making that keep you stuck, numb, or afraid?
What are some things YOU can do to be more motivated?

In the IAM Learning Community, we believe in 100% responsibility for our actions, behaviors and thoughts. If you’re feeling stressed out, burned out, bummed out, what will you take a stand for today when it comes to your career, getting a life you love? Will you go on day after day feeling this way? Or are you ready to make a change?

I’m not going to punch you in the head. I’m simply going to ask you to choose a different path … to not be a victim to your circumstances … to have the courage to take a stand for your career and life.

What are you willing to commit to today to cultivate a great life that’s waiting for you?

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